Frequently Asked Questions
|Assumes the client needs healing||Assumes the client is highly functional|
|Roots in medicine, psychiatry||Roots in business and personal growth venues|
|Works with people to achieve self-understanding, functioning and emotional healing||Works to motivate people to a higher level of functioning|
|Focuses on feelings and past events, past-orientation||Focuses on actions and the future; goal-orientation|
|Explores the root of problems||Focuses on solving problems|
|Works to bring the unconscious into consciousness||Works with the conscious mind|
|Works for internal resolution of pain and to let go of old patterns||Works for solutions to overcome barriers; learn new skills and implement effective choices|
Imagine reading a book about downhill skiing. Now imagine a coach on the slopes teaching and guiding you to being the best you can be. Skiing requires training and coaching; Olympic skiers have professional coaches guiding them to peak performance. Marriage coaching is similar in that a coach helps you perfect the skills needed to make marriage more successful.
Coaching, in my opinion, deals with the here and now, is immediately tangible, and action- oriented. Traditional therapy may spend a lot of time uncovering issues at the expense of focusing on immediate strategies for success.
I am always on the look-out to identify if a couple has deeper / more serious issues going on that would warrant an “expert” psychologist, psychiatrist, or other clinically trained person. I cannot diagnose anything. I attract clients who would like to improve their struggling marriage or make their good marriage great.
A. I was intrigued to discover that couples seek a therapist, on average, seven years after they’ve been having marital difficulties. By that time, there is a lot of work to be done to restore the relationship to intimacy. It is not uncommon for couples to reluctantly go to a therapist as a last ditch effort, on the brink of filing for divorce. Some couples are directed by a court / judge to go to counseling. Counselors are challenged by clients who are going through the motions, with no intention of repairing their poor marriage. Some psychologists have even left their field to become marriage coaches and enjoy it. Perhaps they are attracting and serving clients who truly want to make improvements.
Many Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT’s) explain that they are only 20-30% successful in getting couples to improve their relationships and stay married. Many couples get divorced after seeking help. I don’t know about you, but a 20-30% success rate is pitiful. Clients pay a lot of money to go week after week for poor results. In all fairness, people who seek counseling usually have major problems and are considering divorce; coaching attracts clients with better marriages.
It is my intention to have a higher success rate than traditional counseling. Take a look at the coaching packages and you will see that I design programs to help you in your relationship; we will not collect your money for a weekly session, with no end in sight. We have specific goals in mind and can address most issues with a four-session package.
There are many ways to turn a floundering marriage around and coaching is designed for improvement. MFT’s often have a “neutral” philosophy: “Maybe this marriage needs to dissolve and maybe there is hope for this marriage. We have to uncover the deep issues and take it from there.” With me and the clients who are drawn to me, divorce is not an option; I share skills and strategies that help.
Although the main responsibility for success rests upon the client, a good coach will help clients reach greater satisfaction and even profound happiness in their relationship.