Make Life Dreams Come True – YMMP010

Have you ever felt like giving up during the same old arguments?

WAIT!!! There’s hope!

With almost every argument, there is a dream lurking beneath the surface. Today’s episode, “Make Life Dreams Come True,” sheds hope.

Husband leaves the toilet seat up? Wife is defensive about spending money on trendy fashion items? Husband seems lazy around the house? Wife seems to spend more time talking with friends than her children?

Hold on. It’s not the issue that needs to be corrected. There’s something more going on.

Find out how and why disputes can drag us down and discover a way out.

Today’s mission is to think of an issue that seems to get blown out of proportion. Find out what’s really going on with the simple process outlined in today’s episode.

Visit marriagecoachlynn.com for more marriage hacks and help. Don’t wait for your marriage to slip into oblivion – perform marriage maintenance on your good or great marriage so that it will remain strong and fulfilling.

Self-Soothing – YMMP009

GO TO TIME OUT!

   We send our children to “time out” when they’re misbehaving. It’s a chance for them to think about what they did wrong.

We need to take a voluntary time out when our arguments get heated. We need to disengage, walk away and regroup in the middle of a spat. Come back when we’ve calmed down.

When we get “flooded,” the best thing we can do is to “self-soothe” for 20 or more minutes.

Listen to today’s episode to make sure you don’t fall into the trap of a lose-lose argument.

“Practice Self-Soothing” is on the Manage Conflict rung of the Sound Relationship House and is the topic for today.

Dialogue About Problems – YMMP008

Do you want more sex?

Then you need to learn how to dialogue about problems.

You read that right.

Most people think fatigue, lack of libido or interest top the list of why people are not sexually interested.

Think again.

We don’t need to move to a quick resolution when we argue; we need to stop, slow down, listen, understand and show respect.

This is the key to peace among spouses and peace in the bedroom.

Stop being selfish and take time to listen. Learn how to dialogue and listen to this week’s podcast. Watch the weekly youtube video that accompanies this podcast episode on the Marriage Coach Lynn channel. The date of the podcast episode corresponds with the date of the youtube video.

Sound Relationship House, Level 5-Manage Conflict; “Dialogue about Problems.”

Accept Your Partner’s Influence – YMMP007

“What’s it like being married to me?”  Ask your partner this question and listen to the reply.

Accepting each other’s influence gives you a firm foundation for compromise when compromise is called for. You’re sharing power and decision making. There is mutual respect. There is a stronger bond and friendship. There is probably more play and more sex in your marriage too!

What are the payoffs of accepting your partner’s influence?  What are the risks of not accepting your partner’s influence? Today’s episode will clearly answer those questions.

Find out the 5 questions you must answer “true” to in order to have a thriving relationship by accepting your partner’s influence.

Accepting Your Partner’s Influence is on the 5th Level  (“Manage Conflict”) of the Sound Relationship House. (www.gottmaninstitute.com).

Positive Perspective – Couple Friendship – YMMP005

Psst…

Want to know the best ways to insure your marriage? No monthly or annual installments here. Can you guess what two simple ways are (in addition to daily hugs, of course)?

You’d be right if you guessed the following:

  1. Create a stronger friendship with your spouse.
  2. Adopt a positive perspective to ensure a positive view of your spouse. When the going gets tough, you are equipped with good thoughts and can overcome disagreements more easily.

Today’s episode centers on the “Positive Perspective,” the 4th level of the “The Sound Relationship House” (www.gottmaninstitute.com). Find out how understanding negative and positive viewpoints can create either poisonous roots or blossoming flowers in your marriage.

Don’t be surprised when you hear of a spouse getting blindsided by the partner or a couple you thought had a solid marriage announcing their separation or divorce, with “no clue” or warning to at least one of the partners. I bet they weren’t incorporating the principles of The Sound Relationship House in their marriage.

If you haven’t already done so, please listen to the previous three episodes so that you can create a relationship in which you won’t be blindsided. Visit www.marriagecoachlynn.com for a model of the Sound Relationship house in the Resources section.

A great resource for strengthening your friendship and putting a little more sizzle into your marriage, download a copy of “Reenergize Your Marriage in 21 Days” on Smashwords.com or Amazon.com.

Turn Towards Each Other – YMMP004

How can we insert more romance into our marriage without trying?

In today’s episode, you’ll discover easy ways to keep your relationship traveling in the direction of comfort and closeness. This episode is short and to the point!

Wipe out neglect by turning towards your partner rather than away from him or her.

This is so simple, yet is one of those things that causes a slow erosion and distance between spouses.

“Turn Towards Your Partner Instead of Away” is the third level of “The Sound Relationship House” Theory as proposed by Dr. John Gottman (www.gottmaninstitute.org).

Be sure to listen to Your Marriage Matters episodes 2 and 3 in order to benefit fully from this process. We will continue with The Sound Relationship House for 6 more episodes. By the time you are finished with this series AND if you practice the suggestions and techniques provided in this series, you will lay a foundation that can eliminate the threat of divorce and discontent in your marriage!

Please don’t think divorce is not a possibility. It’s occurring in 40% of the population. Almost all couples who walk down the aisle of love on their wedding day will proclaim: “It won’t be us!” So who are these 40% of first marriages that end in divorce?

No one knows what the future holds. But we do know there is so much we can do in the present!

I meet men and women almost on a daily basis who are BLINDSIDED. They are SHOCKED that they ended up in a place of separation or divorce. They never thought it would happen to them. And guess what? Do you know what might have saved their marriage?

Are they following this model? Do they know one another’s world (Building Love Maps)? Are they fond and admirable of each other? Are they turning towards each other on a daily basis? Hmm. Something to think about…

Don’t end up going down the path of estrangement and do yourself a favor and take 10 minutes to listen to today’s episode. You won’t be sorry.

 

Love Maps – The Key to Understanding – YMMP002

Did you know that couples get stuck in a cycle of conflict and miscommunication based in large part because they don’t understand each other?

Does your spouse GET you? Does he or she know what’s going on with you? Do you GET your spouse?

On today’s show, we talk about LOVE MAPS – what it means, why it’s important and how you can create an accurate love map.

“Building Love Maps; Knowing One Another’s World” is at the foundation of the Sound Relationship House Theory (as proposed by John Gottman; gottmaninstitute.com). A love map is a road map of one’s inner psychological world.

Do you know the one quality essential for accurate Love Maps?  I’ll give you a hint. Unscramble these letters: S-T-O-N-E-Y-H

Today’s show went beyond 15 minutes, in part because I wanted to review 4 secrets on how to build an amazing marriage:

  1. Self-awareness. You must seek the truth about yourself, and not be afraid to be vulnerable.
  2. YOU are responsible for a big part of your marital happiness, so STOP staring at your spouse for answers or blame.
  3. Teamwork. Always keep in mind that the husband and wife dynamic is like a team, working for the “greater good” and end goal of a fully functioning family unit. Say that 10 times fast. Fully functioning family unit…..
  4. Stick with Your Marriage Matters and you won’t become a statistic! It is my hope that you become a pillar of your community, with an amazing marriage. Very few marriage counselors and coaches make guarantees and promises, but I do.

Let’s Build an Amazing Marriage – Welcome! – YMMP001

What does it take to make a great marriage? Find out by becoming a regular listener to this new, revolutionary podcast. No one else is talking about the things I will be revealing on Your Marriage Matters.

On this debut episode, you’ll discover that creating a happy, lifelong, fulfilling relationship is not rocket science. I can’t wait to share all of the secrets that will help you grow in love and contentment.

In fact, I’m giving all of my secrets away, as liberally as I can. In this debut episode, my gift to you includes 4 secrets to building a happy marriage.  Are you ready?!

Warning! The honesty of this podcast might rock your world, and it’s not for the faint of heart. You’ll want to subscribe to the podcast so that you don’t miss out on the obvious, foolproof ways you can create a sizzling and meaningful marriage. I KNOW what causes marriages to fail and what causes success. It’s up to you. What will you choose?